“What’s the Difference Between Email and Text Messages?”
“What’s the difference between email and text messages?”
A few years ago, my 7-year-old asked me to text his friends’ parents. I said I would email them instead and that sparked the question of what’s the difference? I realize it is a very good question for someone his age growing up with technology in the ways that he does. You can send someone a text and they usually see it quickly because they tend to be close to their phone. You used to send an email and then wait until the recipient was near their computer which probably wouldn’t be as immediate. Nowadays it isn’t like that. We have phones where we can check our emails. We have watches where we can check our emails and our text messages. We have computers where we can check our emails, text messages, and WhatsApp group chats. We have many devices that allow us to see both emails and texts immediately. So, what’s really the answer? I don’t think there is a clear delineation anymore.
This means that most of us live in a way that leaves us constantly available. The constant availability could be disrupting your life in ways you don’t even realize. You might be so used to it that it doesn’t seem problematic, but it is. The reason I preferred emailing that parent was because I didn’t know them as well and it felt more intrusive, to me, if I sent a text. I didn’t want them to feel as though they had to respond right away.
I am very familiar with the do not disturb feature on my Apple Watch. I love it. I remember when the Apple watch first came out saying I would never want one because I wouldn’t need to have all that access (email, text, etc.) on my wrist. Although, I’ve grown to appreciate all of these features I’ve also had to strike a balance with using them. One way to solve the intrusiveness of my watch is to use the do not disturb button. I have found this extremely helpful and calming. I now make it a point to put do not disturb on during meals with my family.
Text messages, emails, WhatsApp chats, can all be useful and great helping us keep in touch with various friends, coworkers, and family members. It no longer costs money to call family who live across the state, let alone across the globe. It’s wonderful! But there are also many disadvantages. Always being accessible can lead to always working which means constant distraction from the people we’re with or the other things we enjoy doing outside of the office. Our devices creep into our lives and can leave us feeling less connected. We might be chatting with our friend in another country but is that happening while you’re currently hanging out with a different friend. How engaged can you be with the person you’re with if you’re constantly checking your devices. Even if you don’t want to check them you might get that ding on your watch or phone telling you someone is reaching out to you in some way. Maybe you’ll check. Maybe you’ll resist the urge to check. Either way, that ding just took you out of your conversation for at least a couple of seconds. Your mind wandered to it and wondered who it was from. And if you’re the type who feels pressure to respond it’s going to stay in your mind even if you don’t act on it.
Being a part of a group can lead to positive feelings. You can catch up in one place with all your nearest and dearest or with all the parents from your child’s class. But it can also trigger stress and anxiety in people when they look at their phone and see how much they’ve missed. Where do you even start? Do you feel the need to respond to everyone? To read everything? Do you feel guilty if you don’t or if you do but you really didn’t want to? Can you speak up and tell those people that sometimes you won’t be available? Maybe stating that can be enough to help you feel less stressed by the situation.
Another disadvantage to a group chat is the way people can easily “read into” what isn’t said. If you put something serious in the chat but then there’s silence or the chat moves forward without recognition of what you had to say what do you do? People can be left feeling neglected by a group chat just as easily as they can feel loved. I encourage my clients to speak and let people know if they’re feeling hurt by something that was said or not said. This doesn’t have to be done in a public way but maybe privately, in person or on the phone.
How attached are you to your devices? Are you happy with your answer? Do you want to make a change? Imagine turning everything off. Imagine letting your watch battery and phone battery die while you’re letting your computer charge in the other room. Gasp! You’re not available. It might make you feel anxious and strange. It might also make you feel relaxed and free. Maybe you feel all those things at once. And it might be worth giving it a try.
